People, I think form one of the most mind-boggling topics of discussion. Why do people behave the way they do? Understandably so, the nature versus nurture debate is one of my favourites.
In every group that we are a part of there are always some people we get along with, some others with whom we share a superficial relationship, others who we feel are from a different planet and those few who we can never get along with, simply because they are not our type.
As human beings, with our strong instincts of segregation, we always form smaller groups within the big group that we are a part of. Why is it never possible for us to be extremely close to that whole, big group? Smaller groups are formed when we meet those people who are our kind and so we can easily get along with. Or in other words, people of the same wave length as ours.
When talking to another person comes effortlessly, we know that we have met our kind. We then go on to form a group consisting of all those people who are our kind. Once this group is made, everyone else not belonging to our group becomes the 'others'. The others are treated differently from the people of our group. The others are never invited to go out with us for a day of fun. We do not go crying to the others when we need help. We do not keep the others informed about everything in our lives and so on.
We cannot be best friends with everyone now, can we? So these demarcations that we make between our group and the others are acceptable. Here is what is not acceptable: making a face when the other comes to our territory, acting indifferently when the other tries to make friends with us because we are scared she/he is trying to join our group, making a big deal when one person from our group invites one of the others to one of our group plans...and the like.
Why is it so hard for us to accept 'other' people, the moment we form our own groups? Yes, there is what we call a comfort zone that we form with the people we get along with but does that mean that the others should be treated with antagonism?
Treating others with indifference is something that is practiced more passionately among girls. Boys, I've noticed are not so indifferent when it comes to treating the others. For some reason boys are very open to others joining their groups. This explains why we can always find boys who belong to many groups. They have multi identities depending on various groups they are a part of. Girls however are usually, quite distinctly part of one group. This one group defines their identity and mostly, mingling with others is a taboo!
To treat everyone as our own is asking for too much. I guess the least we can do is to make the others feel comfortable when around us by not making them feel like there is a wall dividing them from us. After all, they are people.
I do agree actually.. Especially with the view you have on girls.. :)
ReplyDeletegirls..........god!!!we know dont we????but i guess we got around to learning that and we did accept newer people you got closer to teesha,i had manse swati ,divya has hers but we were still great frends and we respected each others choices...so well yeah i m proud of us!!
ReplyDeleteWell written..and its so so true! especially the last 2 paras :)
ReplyDeleteGood job rem :)
Treating others with indifference comes naturally to girls. We really need to do something about this ‘innate quality’ of ours. I for one am definitely working on it because unfortunately for me what’s on my mind is on my face.
ReplyDeleteWell written, Rem. I like that you’ve mentioned making the ‘others’ comfortable. We obviously mustn’t act like we’re best friends with them when we’re actually not particularly fond of them; that would be plain fake and I’m not a fan of fake people. So a cordial relationship with them will definitely not hurt.