My friend lost her mother when she was 17. Her mother was ill for a long time. Through this time she says, she did some of the things she had never done before. One of them being that she had to her credit a boyfriend, who she thought, rather foolishly at that point, she was going to get married to.
No one around her could understand her behaviour. They thought her behavoiur was anything, but what was appropriate for the things that were happening in her life. Relatives irritated her to an extent she could not tolerate. They could not believe that she was doing things that they thought made her look like she was 'up to no good', at a time when she should be more sensitive to the happenings in her house.
Wait. Did anyone take a step back to understand why she behaved this way? Did anyone even remotely consider the fact that that was probably her way of dealing with the situation? For everyone else involved in the same situation, spending every second of their lives talking about the happenings may have been their way of dealing with the situation. But it was not hers. So be it. This does not mean she was insensitive. For all you know, she was probably more sensitive and troubled by it than other people. But her way of reacting to it was to go out and make it look like she was fine, and that her life was perfectly normal.
Who are we to judge and point fingers at others for their reactions to things? Some people cry at deaths, some others don't, they just sit with a stoic expression on their face. Does this mean they don't care about the death?
Every one has their own way of reacting to things and situations. I might cry like a baby when I lose my watch and not cry at all when my best friend leaves town for good. This does not make me a bad person. Maybe the reason I don't cry when my friend leaves is because I feel like I will definitely make it a point to meet her again. On the other hand, I might cry about my lost watch because I'm so sure I'm never getting it back.
Before we pass judgements about people's sensitivities and insensitivities we should remind ourselves that each of us is built differently. People might react in ways we think is just cruel because that is how they are built to react.
Peace.
LOVE this. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it.
ReplyDeleteI suppose perspective is blinded when matters become circumstancial, especially one such as this.
ReplyDeleteWell written my fellow journo! Best,Karun
i completely agree with you. i can connect 2 this piece you hav written. way to go girl!!
ReplyDeleteI'm at a loss for words to explain how much I appreciate the fact that you have such a sensitive approach, so different from the rest of the 'society', to justify the rebellious behaviour. You can see the bigger picture, the other side to the rebel...in other words, you've been kind and understanding to the girl's completely messed up emotional turmoil. I love it.
ReplyDeleteWell, clearly maturity is something that doesn't necessarily have to come with age!
ReplyDeleteI admire how you're able to look through the superficial, and at the things that REALLY matter. Its not about the relationship she chooses to be in, but the relation she just lost. Fabulous!