Go For It.

We think we are so many things. Fact is we can be all the things we want to be. But the fact also is, there are many things we live in a bubble of thinking we are, only to find out we're not.

Before diving into the world of 'work', the way I saw myself- the passionate, obsessive and compulsive sort, I knew I would be a workaholic when someday my work life would begin. But turns out, I'm not quite what I thought I was. And I found out the hard way. But there's this sweetness in finding out things the hard way...a sense of glory you feel because you found out on your own.

I read somewhere that human beings are the only living beings who have the ability to learn from other's experiences. True. We can be spoken to, told the right and wrong ways of doing things, learn from other's mistakes, learn from other's achievements... But what if some of us want to learn from our own mistakes? What if for some of us learning the hard way IS the only way the lesson sticks? What if for some of us we would rather hurt ourselves finding out the 'bad' way than by plainly seeing and hearing?

Consider this,
X: I made a mistake, and that's why I'm pushing you so hard...because I don't want you to make the same mistake.
Y: There you go. Maybe I'm just like you. I'll only learn if I make the mistake myself.
X: But I didn't know better then and I do now. That's why I'm telling you...
Y: I don't know any better now. But I will if I make the same mistake...let me make it. Let me find out on my own.

And anyway why do people mostly assume that we will make the same mistake they made? Maybe we can do things differently, maybe we will come out successful from something that someone else failed in and maybe, we might learn a completely different lesson from what someone else learned. So isn't it worth a shot?

We will be told the right ways of doing things. We will be told how to do things in ways that would hurt us the least... Let them tell, it's their duty to tell. It's also part of a responsibility of the role they play in our lives. At the end, it's always our choice, what we want to do and how we want to do it. If learning from your own experience is your kind of thing, Go For It.

Training the mind

'I will NEVER....' It's a line we say so often. Although most of the time we might not really intend on meaning it with the same passion that it might be said with, we still say it. Of course you're wondering, so? What's the harm? Tough luck strikes when you're faced with necessarily having to do that one thing which you said...'I will NEVER..' to. But we can do it. It's all about training the mind.

We have dreams. We dream big and we hope that everything turns out the way we want. We make maps of our lives, chalking out every turn and juncture. Okay, maybe all of us don't do this and I'm just a little over ambitious. But my point is we have in our minds, if not out there in the open a plan for ourselves. We strive towards making this plan work, doing whatever it takes.

But then, CRASH! Things don't go the way we've planned and our worlds come crashing down. And then sorrow prevails. We struggle in despair and hopelessness, cursing ourselves for not working hard enough. Wait a minute, did we really not work hard enough? Or are we just being too harsh on ourselves? We search for answers to the depressing turn our lives have taken. And no. We get NO answers. Absolutely none. The 'forces' we believe in will not grace us with their mysterious appearances and give us answers.

We moan about the unfair world and hence our unfair lives. It's true we rarely get what we deserve. We wonder what the 'forces' are doing when they give things to the wrong people! Wait, who said they are the wrong people? We question everything-our goals, our choices, our means, our ends. Where did we go wrong? May be we never did. Yet, we question endlessly, breeding pessimism.

I believe there are two kinds of 'we'. One, those of us who believe in the forces and how things are meant to be and two, those of us who believe that everything is a choice we make.

Here's the mind training- for the first set of us, we should never really engage in self loathing and questioning. Coz come on, wasn't that how it was meant to be? How could we change it anyway? And if that was how it was meant to be, doesn't it have to be for the best?
For the second set of us, if everything is a choice we make, then we should just trust that our choices are always right. If we regret a choice much later, we must remind ourselves of the reasons why we made the choice. I can sure as hell assure you that you will find a reason to believe that the choice was well made. There was something at that point of time that made you make it. And it was worth it. If it was worthwhile then, it has to be now as well.

The magic lies in training our minds...life is actually not that bad!