Sweaty Palm Adventures

I've lived with my sweaty palms all my life. Although mom says it wasn't like that since I was born, I cannot remember a time when my palms didn't perspire. Everyone who knows me knows this fact about me. It's part of who I am. It's part of what I'd say if someone asked me to reveal an interesting fact about myself. It disturbingly occurred to me recently that it's probably something other people would use to describe me too.

I can imagine a conversation between two people who know me to go like this:
Person A: Hey, how do you know Remya?
Person B: Remya? Which Remya? I know a Ramya.. I think..
A: Dude Remya ya, you know her from college..
B: Oh ya. "Sweaty palms" that's what we used to call her. Of course, I know her, love her (very, very wishful thinking and extremely inflated sense of self wherein I think everybody who knows me obviously loves me.)

But to be fair, I can't blame people if that's how they remember me or if that's the one thing they love or hate about me. I almost always make the presence of my sweaty palms felt, in every conversation be it with friends, acquaintances, strangers - everyone. Why do I do this? I have in my growing-up years had various reactions to my sweaty palms ranging from, "oh, you have sweaty palms", with a disgusted expression, to "yuck, why are your palms wet", to "hmm where have your hands been?", to "oh your palms sweat but that's alright, I don't mind", etc. Safe to say that with most of these reactions being negative, I naturally programmed myself to be this person who gives a disclaimer before shaking hands with anyone or not shaking hands at all. Actually nowadays I almost don't let anyone get anywhere close to my palms unless of course they (my palms) are having a dry day or a dry moment.

I have so far come across few people who have the same condition but I've always felt none of them have it as bad as me. I wrote my exams in school and college with a tissue under my palm, that moved like well-oiled machinery from one side of my answer sheet to the other, along with my pen in firm grip. People are misled to think I am stressed or nervous but that is not the case. While my palms can have an outbreak under stressful circumstances, they can also be moist for no real reason whatsoever. I'm almost never spotted without a tissue (I've made an Instagram hashtag - #notissuenoremya!), and people who are really close to me know that I can be very possessive and stingy with my tissue papers.

I cannot however deny how my sweaty palms have helped in some ice-breaking sessions, made me get weird looks and sometimes unwanted attention in yoga and dance classes, got people to think I am too snooty to shake hands as I'm germ-conscious, or come across as having a bad attitude when I've not shook hands at a job interview. I've laughed like crazy (in my head) all of these times.

Sweating is part and parcel of yoga but in my case sometimes my feet and palms slip off the mat. I now wear yoga socks. I chicken out of hand stands and hand balances citing my sweaty palms thereby providing great comic relief to everyone in class, especially my instructor. My most recent stint with dance has been salsa. I've always trained in non-partner dances so far and in hindsight, salsa was definitely a bad idea for someone with sweaty palms. My biggest nightmare was when I realised we had to switch partners every few minutes, and now the first thing I say to every new partner is "Sorry, I have sweaty palms."

As for men, I've used and continue to use my sweaty palms to both drive them away and to make them find me endearing by selling it like a super power, depending on what the situation demands. The worst experience to have in this area is when a guy I'm trying to drive away finds my sweaty palms or conversations about it hilarious and endearing. But my most recent sweaty palm adventure happened with a celebrity crush (Ranveer Singh), and not being able to shake hands with him earned me not one, but quite a few warm hugs and some funny banter. So yes, there are advantages too.

Nothing however, and NOTHING I tell you, beats the kind of suggestions and free medical advice I get by the most strangest of strangers and some very kindhearted well-wishers to cure or fix my condition. I was once told that all I needed to fix the issue was to get a nerve at the back of head, closer to the neck region snapped and switched with another nerve in the same region! And he wasn't even a doctor!

If I could change one thing about myself, I think it would be my sweaty palms. When I shared this thought with a close friend, she was so appalled and said that I would seize to be myself without my sweaty palms. "Aww" I thought to myself in that moment, looked at my palms and kissed them for their presence in my life. Thank you palms, for all the sweaty adventures and slippery love. It's us against the world.

What got me happy high today? This.

I cannot stress enough the importance of watching Udta Punjab to everyone I know - near, dear and far. I went to a first day first show this morning and was rather disappointed at how the hall was nearly empty. So here I am trying to do my little part of spreading the word, trying to add to the film's word of mouth as much as I possibly can.

I often stand out as being boring or "granny-like" when I talk about the so-called milder, "natural" substances as being gateway drugs. I get reactions of this kind - we know to draw the line at natural. And trust me when I say such conversations come up so easily nowadays that I sometimes get worried about the future of our race. I studied Psychology for five years and went on enough psychiatric facility visits during that point in my life to understand the seriousness of substance abuse. It almost always starts mild and less passionately, like a lot of other things in life.

In terms of film-making, nothing about the film left me disappointed. But while it must be appreciated for its technical aspects, I urge everyone to also watch it for the experiences of the characters it portrays, especially under the influence of abuse. I have known about these experiences all along and yet like every time back in school and college when I would get emotionally disturbed by what I learnt or saw, today, this movie left me just as disturbed. No form of substance abuse should be justified, irrespective of what kind of substance is in question, how often it is being taken or what made one start.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I would love for us to translate and apply the lessons we learn from such well-made films, off-screen in our personal lives. The movie talks about substance abuse through many dimensions both personal and political while still managing to drive home a valuable and beautiful point - the sanctity of personal choice.

I took that with me when I walked out of the cinema hall among many other points, and I really hope everyone who watches the film gets to have this take-away just like me. Why is that important? Because while Udta Punjab is about Punjab, it is generally and universally relevant too. And that is an unfortunate thing.