You like some one. Its killing you to tell him that. You think he is kind of giving you the signal too, that he likes you. You're thinking, if he likes you why can't he come up to you and tell you so. Why do you have to be the one to say it first?
Sounds familiar? A very normal thought process that messes with our heads when we are in the courtship phase of a prospective relationship. Gone are those days when a man's chivalry was proved if he was brave enough to ask the woman out. Today we live in a world where men and women are equal. Its not the man's job anymore.
In this context comes the theory of turns. Here's how it works. You like someone. The first stage is the one that involves just the eyes. Its all about the eye contact. You start looking at him. If he is looking back at you and this goes on for a bit, he sure as hell feels something for you too. You gave the first signal here. So if he is really interested now, its his turn to make that obvious. After he does whatever it is, its your turn again. And the giving each other 'signs' thing goes on.
If you think this has to work as a continuous, alternate, your turn-my turn thing, then you've got it all wrong. The point is, you can't be the only one trying to do something to make it work. It has to be two way, and that is how we function. We not-so-generous human beings always want something in return.
Think about it...would you just go on giving 'signs' to someone you like without getting anything in return? Hell no! If you sense disinterest from him, you are bound to stop giving signs eventually. The last thing any of us wants is to look like a desperate fool.
I'm sure I've left you wondering...So whose turn is it now?
I used to come from the old school of thought which taught me to believe that the guy should make the first move. But these days, I find myself shifting base from guy should make the first move to if you want someone to know what's on your mind, you need to make sure you voice your thoughts! Although, I agree, you wouldn't want to look like a fool, so if there's no two way process happening here, chapter closed. PERIOD.
ReplyDeletewell well..look who we have here. lol
ReplyDeleteI liked your emphasis on eye contact because it is the "window to your soul".I love how most people underestimate the power of piercing eye contact. although i'm not too sure i agree with the whole your turn my turn thing...
nonetheless nice approach
Well, times have changed haven't they? But somehow, I wish chivalry still lived :)
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I'm all for knight-in-shining-armour chivalry. =D But having said that, if it comes down to it, I wouldn't mind making the first move provided I know it's not exactly a one-way road. Yes, I'd rather play safe when it comes to matters of the heart. =P
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Anj!! I wish chivalry still exist among many more men.
ReplyDeleteI completely belong to the old school where i'd want the man i like to make the first move. I would never no matter how much i like him would make the first move.
But i have also learnt to "never say never". So yea times are changing and if i find "PRINCE CHARMING" and think he's worth the first move then why not!!