Reaching, only to settle

So now that I have already established my opinion on looks and the importance of superficial appearance to the naked eye, dwelling into the reacher-settler thing is a lot easier.

It's amazing how you had a really long check list of the qualities and features, both physical and otherwise, all along, that made up the 'man' who deserves you. You said 'no' to a fifty (me, being modest) odd boys and men who came along because they lacked that one, absolutely essential feature on the check list.

But then all of a sudden, you grew up, without you even realizing it. Suddenly you are yearning for a man who is anything but what you have wanted all your life. And you can't seem to explain to yourself, why him?; let alone explaining to your closest friends. This man who barely makes it through half of your checklist and is a lot of things you said you can't stand in a man, has you wanting him...more and more by the day. In your head, there's that constant voice telling you, 'you're too good for him'. But you fight the voice and choose to be the settler.

In a weird way, being the settler gives you a strong sense of happiness and pride. You secretly enjoy the fact that you're the better looking one...and the awareness of the fact that you can do better. You've always had it so hard with the supremely good looking bunch...coz the 'good looking+good looking' ego clash got you no where. For once, you feel secure that you are with someone who is reaching for you...and you feel always will.

At the same time, however, you have to try so hard with this man coz he's acting on and off about you. He's telling you 'you're hot' - his sly way of saying, 'why would you want me'? But this draining task of pulling up his self esteem is being embraced by you...and happening well, despite mad moments of you really losing your mind. You're throwing yourself on him WHEN you don't have to. What's worse, you know that you don't have to. Yet...

And if you've been the extremely picky and choosy kind all your life, then you will not be spared when you finally, out of accident or otherwise, show him to your friends. "This was what you preserved yourself for? His nose isn't even sharp!"