Reaching, only to settle

So now that I have already established my opinion on looks and the importance of superficial appearance to the naked eye, dwelling into the reacher-settler thing is a lot easier.

It's amazing how you had a really long check list of the qualities and features, both physical and otherwise, all along, that made up the 'man' who deserves you. You said 'no' to a fifty (me, being modest) odd boys and men who came along because they lacked that one, absolutely essential feature on the check list.

But then all of a sudden, you grew up, without you even realizing it. Suddenly you are yearning for a man who is anything but what you have wanted all your life. And you can't seem to explain to yourself, why him?; let alone explaining to your closest friends. This man who barely makes it through half of your checklist and is a lot of things you said you can't stand in a man, has you wanting him...more and more by the day. In your head, there's that constant voice telling you, 'you're too good for him'. But you fight the voice and choose to be the settler.

In a weird way, being the settler gives you a strong sense of happiness and pride. You secretly enjoy the fact that you're the better looking one...and the awareness of the fact that you can do better. You've always had it so hard with the supremely good looking bunch...coz the 'good looking+good looking' ego clash got you no where. For once, you feel secure that you are with someone who is reaching for you...and you feel always will.

At the same time, however, you have to try so hard with this man coz he's acting on and off about you. He's telling you 'you're hot' - his sly way of saying, 'why would you want me'? But this draining task of pulling up his self esteem is being embraced by you...and happening well, despite mad moments of you really losing your mind. You're throwing yourself on him WHEN you don't have to. What's worse, you know that you don't have to. Yet...

And if you've been the extremely picky and choosy kind all your life, then you will not be spared when you finally, out of accident or otherwise, show him to your friends. "This was what you preserved yourself for? His nose isn't even sharp!"

Siblings Story

'Yuk I cannot imagine living with boys! They are so messy.', said my friend when I told her I live with my brothers. This friend is one of those girls whose life is pretty much defined by a boy. There is almost never a time in her life when a boy is absent. She is either in a relationship, or having the 'unofficial' going on. It was only natural for me to wonder why would a girl with so much proximity to the male gender pass such a comment.

When I got to know her better my question was answered. She does not have brothers. She has never grown up with a boy.

The siblings you grow up with are strongly responsible for who you are today. Your likes and dislikes are shaped by the people you grow up with. Amusing isn't it? Ever wondered why some girls are so adventurous and love to play pillow fights and have WWE matches on the bed? Why are some others always in want of calmer games involving zero chances of physical hurt? Try getting to know the person better and more often than not, you will find that such girls have grown up with brothers.

I remember this boy from school. He was one of the best looking boys in my class. My friends and I were always engaging in pointless, one way obsession of him. Why pointless, one way? He was so shy and reserved, you would wonder if he ever spoke a word. You go up to him and try to make a conversation with him, and he would shy away so uncomfortably that you feel like killing yourself for causing him discomfort. However this was him, only with the opposite sex. With the boys, he made an excellent friend.

Here is his sibling story- He is the youngest among three. He has two older sisters, many years older to him. When he was in school, his eldest sister was married and even had a kid. The second sister was working at the time. Although he has older sisters, they were too old to have any influence on him whatsoever. You can barely say that he grew up with them. They were more like second and third moms to him. Hence, girls for him are people he interacts with in very formal and respectable ways. He is not used to talking to girls freely, with no inhibitions.

I have noticed that girls with sisters, make friends with other girls more easily than girls who have only brothers. Confiding in another girl comes more easily to a girl who is used to doing it at home with her sister.

Girls who have brothers are usually very free and open in their interactions with boys and vice versa. They can talk and discuss anything with the opposite gender without the slightest feelings of shame and embarrassment. Girls who have grown up with sisters mostly have their reservations and are uptight about discussing many matters.

The puberty stage is handled more easily by boys who have sisters and girls who have brothers. The reason is obvious. You are growing up with someone going through the psychological as well as physical changes of puberty. You are used to it seeing it all at home and hence in the outside world, you have far lesser doubts and are also more understanding of such things.

When it comes to matters of the heart, it is really interesting to see how girls with brothers find their ideal, prince charming in a boy who is like their brother. 'I wish I could find a guy like my brother', now isn't that a line we have heard so often? The same goes for boys with sisters. 'Well, if only you weren't my sister, you would make the perfect girlfriend'.

The Siblings Story goes like this- Your personality is influenced depending on the gender of the siblings you grow up with. If you do not feel your personality is in tune with my above mentioned findings, there could be two reasons for that, either your sibling is too old or too young to have an influence on you, or you are just an exceptional case.